


Hypoglycemia

by BooBoogara



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Buzzfeed boys, Cupcakes, Help, I Don't Even Know, I tried to hurt your feelings I'm sorry, I'm Sorry, I'm crying, Love is hard, M/M, Sad, What Have I Done, Why Did I Write This?, Wow, bfu, romance boys, thank u for the support, the tags for this suck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-08
Updated: 2018-03-08
Packaged: 2019-03-28 11:22:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13902975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BooBoogara/pseuds/BooBoogara
Summary: Ryan had felt this way before. More than once, actually.He recalled Shane's sweetness, the smell of the batter, and the feeling of being trapped, but oh so in love.Ryan couldn't wait to get out and see him again.





	Hypoglycemia

**Author's Note:**

> Uhhhh hi this is my first published work, it's a one-shot but I have longer stories on the way :") I can't really tell if this is sad or depressing or not but I guess I have to say trigger warning if major events with bad outcomes aren't your cup of tea. Hopefully this is good enough that it won't flop. Please enjoy!!! :0

“I think I need to go to the hospital.”

“Seriously, Shane? You're being dramatic.”

“If I don't get sugar in me now, you're going to have to pick me up off the floor after I pass out.” The taller man let some sort of unpleasant gurgle escape the back of his throat, spreading himself out on the living room couch. This was his idea of a joke, being a hungry little shit and making Ryan prepare sweets for him again. Shane glared over at his boyfriend, trying not to crack a smile.

They were in his and Ryan's apartment, and it was perfect for them, just enough room for the two boys. They had been living together for quite some time now.

Hell, they've been together for even longer.

Today was like all the rest. The sun was shining through the windows, and even though there was a clock on the wall, Ryan had no idea what time it was. He didn't bother looking for his phone.

He didn't even bother looking anywhere but at Shane.  
Ryan could taste frosting in his mouth, some sort of thick film covering his tongue.

“Do you want me to make something then, you big overgrown baby?” Ryan was already standing in the kitchen, pulling a white apron around his neck and tying it behind his waist. It was frilly and whenever he put it on Shane would laugh, but it was Ry’s mom’s, so there was no way he was getting rid of it.

“Yes please.” Pulling himself up from the couch, Shane practically whined, rubbing one of his eyes and grinning like a fool. “You have to let me help though.”

“You'll just get in the way.” The shorter man laughed it off, being a little cruel. But Shane personally liked his harsh little taunts.

Already getting out a cupcake pan, Ryan held it in his hands as he looked over to his boyfriend, lovingly, desperately.

“I'm gonna help, Ry. I'm not just gonna let my boyfriend slave away just to make my tummy stop grumbling.” His words seemed to pack a punch, like what he was saying was going to change in the near future. Like something was going to happen to erase their meaning.

“So nice of you, Shane. I wish you had that mindset when I go and clean the house all by myself.”

“Unfortunately, the cleaning is all you, buddy. That won't change.”

“Anyway, I don't need your help. I can do this. I am fully capable of baking some cupcakes.”

Shane perked up at the word ‘cupcakes’ being spoken.

  
Ryan knew they were his favorite, and he had a feeling as if he didn't want to make anything else. He just couldn't.

“No, really. Let me help.” Shane's legs moved like they were pre-programmed, and he walked into the kitchen next to his love, rolling up his sleeves.

Ryan looked away for a second, or didn't seem to look at all, he couldn't remember. It was just that when he came to, snapping out of his frozen stare, the cupcake batter was already being whisked in a bowl. Shane was laughing along, looking at Ryan with glazed over, lifeless eyes.

Something wasn't right.

_Where did you get all that from?_

“What's next?” The words coming from the shorter male's mouth weren't the ones he wanted to say, rather the ones he knew he had to. The ones he had spoken once before. A number tallied in his head.

“Let me finish mixing, babe!” Shane’s attention was all on the batter now, his wrist whisking faster as he really got into it. Ryan laughed, sure, like always, putting a hand on his boyfriend's shoulder and moving closer to him.

He wasn't warm. But was he ever?

“Hey, you should be on Cupcake Wars with a technique like that.”

“I'm the best baker around, baby.” The moments of words exchanged between them wasn't forced, it was definitely a fluent conversation. Yet Ryan couldn't convey to Shane the feelings he wanted to. He could show how much he wanted to get out. How much he wanted to see his love look alive, or say something different for once.

Shane was drizzling the batter into each of the little cupcake pans, taking his time. He only spent a few seconds doing so, but to Ryan this felt like an eternity.

_Shane, Shane, Shane._

He looked up at stared right into Ryan's eyes.

_He heard me? He can understand?_

“All done.” There was that big goofy grin, but nothing else. Just a shell of what it used to be, a lack of true emotion. A unthoughtful copy. Well, it was Ryan's brain that made it up. He could have put a little more effort into it.

  
“You're good at this.” A waver in Ryan's voice finally made it through, a squeak that was different than all the times thus far. But it didn't matter. Shane still looked at him with that face, that fake and unacceptable face.  
“Ryan.” Ah, here it came. The reason this moment was so special. “You know I'm not good with words. I never really could tell you how I felt. Even when you asked me out the first time, I was a mess.” Shane, clearing his throat, chuckled, then continued. “So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I love you. Well, you know that. But I'm trying to say I really love you.” Reaching into the back pocket of his jeans, Shane got to one knee. “Ever since our first kiss, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you.”

  
It was bittersweet, Ryan's face conveying little to no emotion. He was getting good at using his facial muscles now, but even if he could scream, it wouldn't help him. Tears welled in his eyes, and all he could do was nod, triggering the next sequence of events.  
“Ryan Bergara, you probably already know what I'm going to ask, but, will you marry me?”

  
_I can't, not like this._

  
“Yes, Shane. Yes.” As Ryan dropped to the floor and gave the love of his life the biggest hug he could muster, he couldn't help but feel like his insides were inverting, becoming muddled up and rung out like a wet rag.

  
Out of all the times he's lived through this, this one was by far the worst.

  
As the two looked each other in the eyes, the sparks were gone. Shane kept that stupid smile on his face, the one that Ryan loved so much. He swore it could stop time.

  
Here came that waxy feeling in his mouth again, combined with a laugh and some forced crying. Why did he have to cry?

  
Every.

  
Single.

  
Time?

  
The simulation felt less and less real as time went on, but Ryan could still feel everything. His tear ducts were burning.

  
It was damp and sugary, but not sweet at all. Like he had been eating a thick, tasteless paste. The emotionless and cold touch of his lips on Shane's was more than hard to bear.  
He didn't know if this Shane could detect any sort of emotion throughout this, but Ryan guessed not since this Shane didn't even exist before this to begin with. If he could see the sheer panic and anxiety on Ryan's face, the real Shane would have done something. The memory stops at the kiss, then rewinds itself and starts back over.

Run number three million, twenty thousand, six hundred and forty six.

  
Ryan Bergara has been in his coma for thirty four months, and his mind had chosen to replay the happiest moment of his life on loop. And every time, he has to live through it. Again and again. This gives him a lot of time to think. Too much.  
Being stuck in his own head was nothing like he thought it would be. Sometimes he'd forget, sometimes he'd recall everything all at once. And some things, he could really remember if he tried hard enough.

Something he knew for sure though, was that Shane was in some hospital with his body, the real breathing Shane.  
Ryan just knew it.

In actuality, that was the truth. Shane would come in every day before and after work, talk to Ryan as if he could hear him, and hold onto his lover's hand until his knuckles turned white and the tears would cease to flow from his eyes. It was routine.

It had been one thousand and thirty four days since the crash, since the day they were supposed to be wedded. And Shane with tired eyes and shaky hands would bring Ryan a homemade cupcake and promise him every day that they would get married eventually, that he would soon wake up and they'd finally be together again.

 

If that day ever came.

**Author's Note:**

> Full disclosure, I have never been in a coma before nor have I done any extensive research so idk if this could ACTUALLY happen, but it's fiction so don't think too deeply into it haha;  
> But aye if you chill feel free to hit me up on twitter @ booboogara ! Sorry if this story left you with a funny taste in your mouth (no pun intended) I just wanted to write something sort of interesting I guess??? If you can call this interesting


End file.
